Note: This long and rambling post compares my current journey into I AM teachings with my past experience as a Baha’i, a religion I left eleven years ago… that is still with me. After thirty years immersion in Baha’i life and teachings, it is hard to get away from that mind-set!

In recent days I’ve been studying I AM teachings. It started when my friend found a copy of a book called Adventures of a Western Mystic: Apprentice to the Masters by Peter Mt. Shasta. A memorable name… and he really is named after Mt. Shasta, the mountain near which I live here in Siskiyou County, Northern California. He is also the author of I Am the Open Door – a book that was originally published by Naturegraph Publishers, which is owned by a Baha’i. It was originally published back in the seventies or eighties. His books have nothing to do with the Baha’i Faith… perhaps I should mention that now. But I found both books by Peter Mt. Shasta to be very much worth reading and of interest in my life of spirituality and mysticism.

I’ve explored many religions and beliefs, over the years, and first heard of the I AM teachings much earlier in life (I was born in 1952) thanks to something a friend said back in the seventies. At that time I lived in Redding, California, where I attended Shasta College in the ECE program. My friend, a much older woman in her sixties, laughed at the “I AMers” and made some comments that were unfavorable, and I, at the time, had no idea what she was talking about. It is very hard for some people (maybe most people?) to overcome the tendency to disparage other people’s religions. This is a most unfortunate trait and I wish everyone would get over it, especially Baha’is who are taught that all religions are one and that religious prejudices must end. A great thought in principle, but actually doing it is a huge challenge for many people.

Reality is: if God really wanted everyone to be a member of your religion, they would be so right now! However, apparently that’s not God’s plan, so why not enjoy and revel in the beautiful diversity of religions and beliefs?

To return to the topic of the I AM teachings and Peter Mt. Shasta’s book, which I found fascinating, I am sorry I didn’t learn more about I AM teachings in the seventies when I lived near Mt. Shasta, in Redding, however apparently that wasn’t the Divine Plan for my life. Instead I left there, moved south, married, had more children, and lived a way-too-conventional life for many years before moving back to Siskiyou County, near Mt. Shasta, twelve years ago. I chose that moment to try to leave the Baha’i Faith, and went so far as to send in a letter requesting withdrawal. I never received a response to that letter, and only last year learned that I’m still considered a member. Coincidentally or not, I started this blog a few months before receiving that phone call from the local Baha’i secretary here, asking me if I’m interested in being active in the Faith again.

Meanwhile, my spiritual interests have been varied. I’ve studied the Bible and other Holy Books, decided I’m happy calling myself a “label-less believer,” and discovered that the only religion I really want is called creativity. Since God is creative, so should I be. I’ve become a novelist and artist.

I am pursuing a mystical path, and that led me to I AM teachings… which I’ve discovered do not acknowledge the Baha’i Faith, though they do recognize Christ as a Divine Master… one of many. I have to wonder why they don’t mention Baha’u'llah. And I wonder why the picture of Christ on Peter Mt. Shasta’s website looks so much like a younger version of Baha’u'llah. (Referring to the passport photo found on Baha’u'llah’s Wikipedia page. Baha’is do not like having his photo on the Internet however for a person like me who will probably never go on pilgrimage to Haifa, it was a wonderful thing to gaze on the face of the Messenger of God I spent thirty years serving! During the time I was a Baha’i, I never saw it, plus never went on pilgrimage, and never even visited a House of Worship.)

As a sidenote… I’ll mention that there is another mystic, Marilyn Hughes, who has out of body experiences, who does write about seeing Baha’u'llah with the other Masters and Messengers of God in the spirit world.

One thing the I AM teachings tell us is that God is found within. It is clearly explained that God is found through meditation, and that the heart is the open door that leads to communication with the Higher Self which is our God-presence or “I AM Presence.”

I learned through meditation many long years ago, to meditate on love. My discovery back in the seventies was that when I meditated on the joy/light/bliss in my heart, meditation was not only easier but also, the spiritual light increased. I unfortunately had nobody to guide me in this matter. Baha’is do not teach much about meditation other than “meditating on the Writings” and a brief passage about meditation found in Paris Talks. I spent most of my life watching after my children and experiencing spirituality through the Baha’i prayers and writings.

I could not help but note that Baha’u'llah wrote about that light within.

The Hidden Words, Arabic, #13:

O SON OF SPIRIT!
I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.

This is something I never hear Baha’is talk about. They talk about Feast, Assembly meetings and elections, and children’s classes… but they don’t talk about the fact that we can find God “standing within… mighty, powerful, and self-subsisting.” Why is that not important to Baha’is? I am mystified! I’m sorry to say that it seems that administration outweighs spirituality in Baha’i communities I’ve been in. I wish I had heard more Baha’is talk about Baha’i mysticism and spirituality. But maybe that’s just me.

While deepening myself and becoming the spiritualized creature I was meant to be, I knew I was being taught by wise Masters or Angels or Guides during my sleep. I woke up once and heard what was being taught to me, and wrote it down. And at the end of my Baha’i life, I woke up one morning being given instructions.. that led to my withdrawal from the Faith… not because I had no faith but because my faith was strong enough to follow the instructions of my spiritual guides.

It has worked out well for me. I’ve enjoyed my decade of life as a label-less believer. For now, I’m exploring the I Am teachings because I feel a resonance with my personal spiritual experiences, those guides who I found talking to me, telling me wonderful spiritual things as I slept.

Baha’is may find the I AM terminology strange, but you will remember in the Old Testament of the Bible God says, “I AM THAT I AM” and that is the name He wished to be known by.